Every child has their way of doing things, thinking, and understanding the situation. Parents should work hard to bring the best out of their children rather than pointing out every mistake. Parents should appreciate their child’s talent and effort of working out their way. Children have a pure heart and soul. They want to do everything they observe. So, any negative action and talk can negatively affect their mind and soul.
Parenting actions are vital for a child’s psychological development, mental health, business development, academic performance, social activity, and behavior. You may be thinking about why your child became such a spoiled brat. You question yourself that you did anything wrong as a parent? Yes, we always want the best for children, but sometimes our best purpose becomes negative. So, here are some lists of mistakes some parents make that ruin their future.
Not Paying Enough Attention
The most regrettable thing the parents do is not giving their children proper attention. Many parents tend to ignore their child’s attention and keep doing their work. More regrets of parents include staying away from their child for a long time and not having fun with them. A search from Boston Medical Center shows that parents who tend to use smartphones disregard their children.
Some parents do not even give a little amount of attention to their children. The parents often get lost in making money and career. They keep their children in maidservant’s hands. Many maidservants do not know how to properly treat a child. Leaving the child behind to servants is a big mistake for parents. These children grow without any direction or care from their parents. It makes them follow the negative behavior of servants. These will affect the child’s lives pretty hard. In more dangerous scenarios, children get sexually abused by their maidservants.
Lack of Trust
According to research, around forty percent of kids are afraid and do not trust their parents. Their fear of trusting for parents grows them into aggressiveness, disobedience, and hyperactivity as they grew up into adults.
When a parent makes a promise to their child but does not accomplish that promise, the child becomes upset. He thinks that he cannot trust their parent’s promises. If a parent constantly tells their child that she can be trusted and you can talk about anything. But when their child shares their feelings or something, the parent becomes angry with them about the things they did. Then the child will feel like their parents cannot be trusted to share their feelings because next time it can become worse. They will choose to discuss with their friends about their problem rather than risking themselves in parent rage.
If the lack of trust grows into them badly in the future, your toddler will have trust issues with others. These issues of mistrust grow up into psychological problems of trusting anyone ever again. It will affect their relationships, family, business, and social life.
Scolding Children Too Often
Scolding or punishing your children for doing wrong things is normal. But sometimes these go over to limit and turn into nitpicking. Some parents cannot even tolerate their child making any type of mistake and get angry if they see any error. That will only affect your child worried about doing new things because they might get punished if they do anything wrong.
Some parents believe that their children will have higher grades, do good in sports, and be well disciplined in life. But sometimes kids mess up fulfilling those higher expectations. As a result, they get punished for that. Over expectations, like your kid will have a 95% score and less than that is not acceptable. These will lead them to behavioral problems and kill their desire to learn anything new. This strictness towards your children can make a poor relationship between you and your child. That’s why you should punish your children for their actual mistakes, not for everything.
Sometimes parents scold and punish their children in front of others. At this moment, parents do not think about others, but children care about other opinions. And public shaming like that breaks your child’s self-confidence. It makes them feel ashamed and even hard for them to forget that incident.
Forgetting Our Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Some parents behave badly like fights, shouts, curses, cigarettes, take drugs, drinks, aggressive behavior, etc. and want their children to behave like a saint. Teaching one thing to your child, but you do that completely other makes a child think that you are not sincere. It makes children think that your request to fulfill them is not important. By observing other people’s behavior and their way of doing things teaches them to do proper and improper actions. For example, older siblings or adults are the most powerful influences that build a child’s behavior and manner.
Children learn things by imitating what others do, especially elders. If parents do not respect each other equally, then children will copy this behavior. If adults misbehave with others, then children will learn this behavior also. But if parents behave with respect and affection with others, then children will also follow them and become like them as adults.
Do Not Want to Listen to Child’s Opinion
“You are just a kid to make a decision”, “Adults know better what to do” are the phrases you have heard when you were young. It was so irritating to hear these types of phrases. But this kind of point of view of parents can affect your child’s future to make decisions on their own. They will feel neglected, and they grow up in insecurity.
How can you become an independent adult in life when there is always someone to make decisions for you even set your goal in life? As a parent, you can think about your kids, but it is too much when you become an obstacle to their life. Of course, as a parent, you cannot fulfill every wish of your kids, but you should not break their wings. You should discuss with your kid’s desire and respect their opinion. But if it is bad, then simply explain to your kid why this is a bad idea to choose that way. For example, your kid is an animal lover, but they cannot bring every dog they meet on the street.
Did Not Play Enough Creative Games
Simply playing creative games with your kids does not quite necessarily make them a great artist or painter, or musician. But why don’t you at least try? There might always be chances for kids to develop into such creative works.
Doing these creative works has a lot of advantages to a child’s development and growth. Creative games like puzzle, drawing, singing, dancing, playdough, etc. are effective. These games develop a child’s intelligence, imagination, vocabulary, and are effective for their growth hormone as well. Also, if your child is engaging with lots of various academic or other activities, it makes it easier to find what is right for them. You can support your child to take part in them.
If you do not cooperate with your child in these activities, your child will likely want to be less active and creative. For example, you do not want to play games with games because you are busy. So, you calm your children by giving devices or television cartoons. If you continue doing these, your child will be less likely to think creatively.
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Avoid Teaching Kids about Money
For some reason, parents usually avoid acknowledging children about money. Children will think that money magically appears from the ATM, and they will get everything they want with that. Without education and personal finance, children will not understand the real worth of cash. Children will always want to force you to buy them toys or chocolates when you go shopping. They these kids will never understand the real meaning of limits, budgets, and saving if you keep fulfilling all their desire.
When kids grow up, then give them the responsibility to manage their income. Giving your child some pocket money will be the best way to teach them to spend and save wisely. Also, you can let your teen earn money by doing part-time jobs or babysitting.
Withholding Common Education about Vital Topics (Like Sex)
Many parents do not like to like to give sex education to their children. Parents have a lot of reasons for not telling their children about it. Parents think of it as a very sensitive topic, and this will make them deceitful. Talking about sex with children seems like a taboo for most parents. It is a wrong mindset because their children will eventually know about sex. They will even learn them through personal experience in a part of their life.
In a study, health day has reported that those parents who talk with their teen kids about sex, tend to wait to experience sex. But whenever they do, they were concerned about birth control and condoms. Teenage pregnancy is a great problem, but with parents teaching toddlers about sex can prevent teenage pregnancy easily. Parents have to teach them about the consequences of doing sex before marriage and how to take necessary protection to avoid mistakes.
Parents Are Not Consistent
Maintaining consistency is challenging for parents for their kid’s upbringing. For example, you are in the middle of work, and your kids are crying for something, and you stop him with chocolate or ice cream. Next time they will do the same thing to get chocolates. You usually do not allow your kids to have unhealthy food. But suddenly a problem comes up, and you give them pizza for lunch. So, next time obviously, they will demand pizza over other meals.
Sometimes it is impossible to maintain the same standards for their children daily. But not trying to maintain it leads to major regrets for parents. Children get confused about what is allowed or what is not for them. Without proper instruction or lessons, your child will not behave what you want them to, and they will try to neglect discipline. Also, you should follow your own rules, if you neglect then it will have a bad impact on your children. For example, no phones during family dinner or no ice cream before the meal, etc.
Make Them Feel Always Comfortable
No parents want to see their child upset and frustrated. That is why lots of parents do everything they can to protect their kids from failures. Always shielding your child from failure and pain is not a good option. Because if your toddler does not have the lesson to handle failure, then they will not be able to handle it when they are adults. The disappointment of failure is beneficial for your child. Because if you can teach them how to face failure and how they can stand out of it.
A kid who has never managed to handle their problems is likely to be pathetic and give up when they think of its pressure. Every child needs to think that failure is not being a loser. When you give up, you become looser, and failure is not a terrible thing. You need to give the best to achieve your destination.
Parents normally want to fix every problem for their kids with good intentions. But this can affect them negatively for their success in life. In their adulthood, they find themselves in a situation where they need to stand up for themselves.
A child should not have anything excess, or this will have bad effects on that child’s growth. These things can be anything from finance to over luxury. If the child gets a grasp of all this, then the child will take everything for granted. That will affect the growth of the child, and that child can even become over-aggressive in many aspects.
As a good parent, you always have to take care of your child in a proper way. Do not excessively care for your children with unnecessary things. Have your attention on the children’s every movement and control them till they become self-employed.